I Never Laugh Until I’ve Had My Coffee – Clark Gable
America runs on coffee. It’s the lifeblood of the nation, it keeps everyone and everything ticking along and makes sure that the country functions as smoothly and precisely as a Swiss watch. If it wasn’t for coffee, chaos and disorder would gradually take over and the country would, in the fullness of time, come apart at the seams.
While we owe everything to the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, we also owe the fuel that powers the day to day to running of the nation, coffee, a debt of gratitude that we can never repay.
It’s always been this way, we’ve always depended on coffee to get us where we were going and where we need to be. The settlers who pushed West were fueled by coffee, the men who left to seek their fortunes during the gold rush kept their dreams alive with coffee when the long, cold nights crept in.
The truckers who push through all weathers to transport the everyday goods we need are kept going by coffee, the police who put their lives on the line to protect and serve us, in their brief moments of respite, find solace in the warmth of coffee, as do the paramedics, firefighters and first responders who keep us all safe.
Coffee lies at the heart of America, and without it, we’d be lost.
Mr. Coffee Comes Calling
For almost fifty years, our thirst, desire, and need for coffee has been satisfied, in no small part, by Mr. Coffee. An American institution and as much a part of the national zeitgeist as apple pie and hamburgers, Mr. Coffee has been bringing caffeine into American homes since the early nineteen seventies.
They’re part of who we are and have been promoted and publicized by everyone from Joe DiMaggio to long-standing Californian punk band, Lagwagon. If it wasn’t for Mr. Coffee, as bad as things can sometimes seem, they’d almost certainly be a whole lot worse.
Founded in Cleveland in nineteen seventy by Vincent Marotta and Samuel Glazer, within two years the company had developed the first drip coffee maker that took the great taste of freshly brewed coffee from the diner into the American home.
With a wave of their magical engineering wand, Mr. Coffee brought the days of disappointing, burnt tasting percolator coffee to an end and introduced America to a new era of great-tasting, readily available java that set the bar high for their competition. Mr. Coffee climbed to the top of America’s coffee mountain and carved their name in history. And they’ve been there ever since.
Time and tide, as the fifteenth-century English poet Geoffrey Chaucer once said, wait for no man, and as both flow ever faster into an uncertain future, the world changed at an exponential rate, and Mr. Coffee, rather than fade into the background and become a footnote in the annals of American mythology, have risen to meet the challenges of the future head-on.
They may be beset on all sides by challenges to their crown, but they’re nowhere near ready to give up and throw in the towel. Which is why they developed, designed, and created the One-Touch CoffeeHouse machine. To remind the rest of the world, Mr. Coffee is still number one.
Made to transform the average American into a fully qualified barista at the touch of a button, the One-Touch CoffeeHouse Espresso and Cauppucion Machine is a simple to use, and even easier to master coffee maker. Mr Coffee had one goal.
They wanted to bring the high-class Coffee Shop experience kicking and screaming into the American home, and with this machine, that’s exactly what they’ve done.
You don’t need to trudge into the city, get soaking wet in the rain and spend hours standing in lines that never seem to move or go anywhere to get incredible coffee anymore.
You don’t need to waste hours of your life desperately trying to explain how you like, and want, your coffee to an over-worked server who has a thousand other customers to deal with and you don’t have to worry about your order being wrong, which it inevitably will be as too many coffee cooks always spoil the caffeine broth, and the crushing disappointment of having to drink a cup of Joe that leaves your tastebuds feeling flat and your pocketbook much too light.
Thanks to Mr. Coffee and their staggeringly efficient, lightning-quick One-Touch machine, all of your coffee-based dreams can come true by pressing a couple of buttons.
How Does the One-Touch CoffeeHouse Work?
First things first, the One-Touch uses a nineteen bar Italian style pressure pump which extracts, and delivers, every ounce of brewing power it has to serve dark, full-bodied espressos that are packed with flavor.
Why did we go straight to the pump? Well, like us you’re no stranger to seeing baristas work their coffee magic on the hissing, wheezing machines that deliver the delicious coffee that we all crave, and the pump that the One-Touch uses, does exactly the same.
It just does it with a lot less noise, steam, and confusion, and makes what, to the untrained eye, looks like an overly complicated and slightly terrifying endeavor straight forward and easy.
And right about now, you’re probably thinking about the delicate layers of perfectly frothed milk that the barista, when they get your coffee right, balances on top of your java in just the way you like it aren’t you?. Guess what? The One-House can do that too, and with a little practice, you’ll be whipping up lathers and laters of froth in next to no time.
The One-Touch has it’s own automatic milk frother that’s so painless and undemanding to use, we managed to conquer it in under half an hour. We thought that was nearly miraculous as we couldn’t even work the television remote and spent a month watching endless re-runs of ‘Friends’ because we were too embarrassed to tell anyone that we didn’t know how to change the channel.
But it wasn’t us being clever, it was Mr. Coffee making life easy. You don’t have to worry about wanting, or using too much, or too little milk, either as the reservoir that contains it is even easier to remove, refill and reattach than operating the frother is.
There was, admittedly, a moment of panic when our cousin who has just turned vegan showed up and wanted a cappuccino, but the frother handled soya milk as easily as it did the whole milk, which just made us love the One-Touch even more.
It does everything that it says it will, and a lot more (we’re still working our way through the refreshingly uncomplicated instruction manual – we’re slow but we get there in the end), by virtue of its intuitive control panel.
Taking its cue from its name, all you have to do is push a couple of buttons and your coffee arrives, just how you like it. It’s even easier to control the intensity level and flavor of your coffee, you just add as much or as little coffee as you want, hit the switch and the One-Touch does the rest.
It also has a super-fast heating system and when Mr. Coffee says super-fast, they really, REALLY mean it and we were kind of taken off guard by how quickly our coffee was ready. That’s something that you might want to watch out for as your coffee being ready long before you think it will be, especially when you’re used to spending way too long in line waiting for your coffee to finally appear, takes some time to get used to.
And Now For The (Relatively) Bad News
It isn’t all milk and honey in the land of the Mr. Coffee One-Touch, as we did notice a few nagging issues that, while they wouldn’t put us off giving it a thumbs-up review, certainly gave us pause for thought.
The dial on the front of the milk frother seems a little flimsy and might be a problem further down the road and while it isn’t a deal-breaker, it just feels like Mr. Coffee took their eye off the One-Touch’s blue-print for a minute and then forgot all about it.
Then there’s the whole water tank indicator brick wall that we ran headlong into. Like Mr. Coffee, we took our eyes off the prize for a minute and let the water tank run dry, which led to the One-Touch trying to pump water to make coffee when there was no water left and a lot of, thankfully, unnecessary panic on our part.
Admittedly it was our fault, and we should have been paying more attention, but maybe if the One-Touch had a water level indicator light, we wouldn’t have been so blase in the moments leading up to what we now refer to as “water-gate”. Our best advice? Pay a little more attention to the One-Touch than we did and you’ll be fine.
But as we said, an indicator light would have been nice. And it would have prevented us from almost succumbing to an entirely self-induced panic attack.
We’ve been putting our coffee making fate in the hands of Mr. Coffee for decades and while the One-Touch won’t stop us going to our local coffee shop, it’ll certainly give us pause for thought if the sky is a little overcast or we can’t really be bothered to go out.
Even though it has a few minor issues, there’s far more to love about the One-Touch than there is to dislike. Would we recommend it to our family and friends? In a heartbeat.
So the next time you’re looking for a coffee maker, remember the brand that helped America to put the fuel in its everyday tank and hit that One-Touch button.